I am sorry that the world wasn’t always kind to your heart. I am sorry that you gave so much of yourself to people who made you feel like you were difficult to love, to people who made you feel like you had to apologise for the way you cared. I am sorry that you experienced certain things at the hands of love that caused you to stop believing in its kindness. I am sorry that love wasn’t always your safe place, I am sorry that love wasn’t always compassionate.
I am sorry that the world sometimes failed to protect your soul. That the Universe sent you certain human beings who were hurt, and in turn, they hurt you. I am sorry that you had to carry all of that weight inside of yourself. I am sorry for the things you had to endure, for the ways in which the world met you with experiences you were not prepared for, circumstances you could not weather on your own.
I am sorry that the world took so much from you. That it made you experience things you were too young to experience. That it took away your father, your first love. I am sorry that the world challenged your courage. I am sorry that the world took so many pieces of you, that it walked away with so much of your hope when you needed it the most, when you were just looking for a soft place to land. I am sorry that you were not held there. I am sorry that you had to do it alone.
I am sorry that the world wasn’t always kind to you. I am sorry. But I am proud of you for being here. I am proud of you for trying to heal in the midst of all that felt unfair and cruel. I am proud of you for fighting to stay here. I am proud of you for the person you were, for the person you became, for the way you dug yourself out of the dark, for the way you pushed through the shadows. I am proud of you for your hope. I am proud of you for your belief in the goodness, for the way you focused on it when so many aspects of your life tried to convince you that it did not exist. I am proud of you for choosing to survive. I am proud of you. You did not deserve what happened to you. You did not deserve what you experienced. But here you are. Here you are.
Lots of love, R xxx
OverthinkingisnotDead. 